It’s Ok If You Get It Wrong As A Parent
Becoming a parent has got to be up there on the list of “difficult things to do in life”. Parenting is extremely difficult. You think you have it all figured out then BHAM! Something knocks you off course.
I remember before I became a parent I really thought that I would be one of these people who had it all figured it. I would never lose my temper, dinner would always be ready on time, I would take my child to every extra curricular activity going and God forbid I would ever raise my voice above an “A#”! Well today I can sit here 4 children later and tell you that I have failed. I have failed miserably. I have actually lost count of the number of times I have got it wrong.
Truth be told I could never in a million lifetimes have ever lived up to those standards. My goals were unrealistic and unachievable. It didn’t feel great in the moment that I failed but I have come to realise something very important. IT’S OK. The wonderful thing about children is that they don’t mind if you get it wrong. Their hearts are full of pureness and they will forgive you time after time after time. Sometimes I think we have a lot to learn from our children in that respect.
You are not a perfect human being and you never will be. We make mistakes in our jobs, our friendships and even in our families. The best thing you can do with such mistakes is to learn from them and try not to repeat them in the same way again.
There have been times I have snapped at my children when really it wasn’t their fault. I was busy trying to focus on something and they were busy trying to get my attention to show me a picture or likewise. I get it wrong, I apologise. Not only is it good to apologise to your children it actually teaches them a great life lesson. It teaches them to be humble, to apologise themselves and to forgive.
I got it wrong when I allowed my 1 year old baby to jump on the bed, not fully keeping an eye on him until he fell off and got a huge coco on his head.
I got it wrong when I didn’t make sure the hot chocolate was cool enough before I gave it to my daughter.
I got it wrong when I didn’t insist my children wore insect repellant before going outside.
I got it wrong. I get it wrong and it’s ok.
Parenting is a journey and no one can ever say that they have reached the end of the journey because it never ends. Even when your child is 57 years old, you are still a parent. There is no right or wrong way to parent. People will always have their opinions on how you should parent and that’s ok. You can’t make everyone happy.
When my first child was born my mother felt I had to shape my sons head and nose. I didn’t think so, it was more of a cultural thing to her. I let her do it for my first born but not the others. That’s just the way I parent.
Your parenting journey will teach you so much about yourself it’s scary. You will identify behaviours in your children that came from you. Some things you will love and others not so much.
The key is to forgive yourself each time. Each time you get it wrong, it’s one less time you will make that mistake. You are learning. There is no manuscript for parenthood just a bunch of trial and error.
Do your best and each day start afresh at being a good parent. It’s ok if you get it wrong sometimes.